Feelings are for Women and Pussies

Dear Ted,
Garnett out for game 2? What's that about? -hotties in Holbrook

Dear Hotties,
The reason Garnett was suspended is because society is filled with pussies who have feelings. Garnett throwing that elbow might have hurt someone if it connected (it didn't), but it did hurt people's feelings. He's too aggressive, and that hurts people's feelings. When I was a pro athlete, we didn't talk to shrinks or
have to worry about people's feelings.
Feelings are for women, and men who carry handbags, not pro athletes. He shouldn't be suspended in the GD playoffs for that. I hope that whiny pants McStern is happy with his merry band of pussies.
-Tedsicle