Mr. Julius Nado, BP 15, Abidjan, Ivory Coast

Dear Teddysicle,

I am Mr. Julius Nado, residence address at BP 15, Abidjan, Ivory Coast. I am the personal lawyer to late Mrs. Tina, a client of mine, whom has a servicing firm affiliated with the Julius Berger road construction in Cote D'Ivoire.

Late Mrs. Tina was awarded a contract worth (US$24,000,000.00) when she was alive and Immediately this contract was signed, an initial amount of (US$11.000, 000.00) was paid to her as mobilization fee to kick off the contract. She duly completed this contract pending when her remaining balance of (US$13,000,000.00) will be paid to her. On 2nd of March 2008, my client, her husband and their four children were involved in a car accident at Cocody, capital city of Ivory Coast. Unfortunately, all the occupants lost their lives.

Not too long after her untimely death, her outstanding balance of US$13,000,000.00 was approved and deposited in a Bank here. Right now the funds are still floating unclaimed in the suspense account of the offshore correspondence payment centre here.

I have reasoned very professionally and I feel it will be legally proper to present you as one of the relative of my deceased client, so that you can be paid the remaining balance of her contract funds left in the Bank, hence I contacted you. I am offering you this opportunity by contacting you to assist in repatriating the fund left behind by my late client before they get confiscated or unserviceable by the Bank where this huge deposit were lodged. The Julius Berger road construction issued me a notice as the Attorney to the deceased to provide the Next of Kin or have the Account confiscated in a shot period of time and since then I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over a year that I have been searching.

I seek your concept to present you as the Next of Kin or family member to the deceased since you are at an advantage, bearing the same surname, so that the proceeds of this remaining balance of her contract funds valued at (US$13,000,000.00) can be paid to you. We shall both share the funds; 60% for me and 40% for you as we proceed.

I have all the necessary Legal Documents that will be used to back up our claim. All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us see this project through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of law after the transfer is done.

Thanks and have a wonderful day with your family.
Please contacts me for further details.

Best personal regards,
Mr. Julius Nado (Esq.

Mr. Nado,

Tedsicle is dead, and therefore cannot sign for anything. If only John Henry were alive, he'd be all over this like white on rice. I know he ran with some Nigerian Princes, often pledging lots of my autograph money to invest in their various plans. As far as I know, he grew that money into a giant fortune, and that fortune will be spent reuniting my head with a fit body so I can play LF for the Red Sox again. Actually, I think I'm healing faster than D'Lsbury, with his inverted Vagina, or whatever's wrong with him.

Good luck Jackass,

'Sicle

also a piece of Teddy died today (and that sucks because there isn't that much left)

Manny Ramirez's Annual Hibernation

Teddy,
I see Manny's on the DL. Where do you think he's going on vacation this year?

Dumbass,
It's summer time! That means it's the dog days of summer, which also means Manny Ramirez's annual hibernation. My guess? Manny is going to a bunch of car shows across the US. Do you know where I took my vacations during baseball seasons? That's right, getting shot down over beautiful Korea during the Korean Conflict. Can you imagine these namby pambies going to fight a war? You can't even get D'ellsbury to lift his GD finger to make a phone call to his manager telling him when his vagina or ribs will heal. If he extends his finger, his ribs get sore. Little punk. I took craps with more intestinal fortitude than him.
Hey Manny and Jacoby, get back in the game and stop owrrying about how many pennies you can squeeze out of your next employer.
'sicle

Football and the Kids

Teddy,
Why before each game do they pair up world cup soccer players with young children? Are they the prize for victory?

Shithead,
You have to go back to the origins of the game. England way back before they split with the catholic church. Then it moves over to the main continent (Italy, Portugal, Spain)...All Catholics. The little boys are gifts to the players for performing. The Pope that instituted this was Pope Concilious the Second, who was a famous child lover. He never went anywhere without his flock of children. He became a huge fan of the game, and as a reward to the best players, he would give them each a child. Of course, this was just a ceremony, and the player would return the child to the Pope at the end of the game. Pope Concilious loved to take the kids back to the priory and share his special candle with them.
I'm just glad to see the priests of today are keeping with tradition.