Teddy, I know you've had a lot of women. Have you ever chowderboxed LeBron's mom?

A lot is a huge understatement, but I do not believe Mrs. LeBron (LeBronica?) and I have done the deed.  She's about 30 years too old for the Teddy.  It takes a young filly to satisfy this frozen head. Just because half the NBA has tapped that, doesn't mean I've has been there, done that (but it's always good to assume eventualities, there are a finite amount of women in the world). 


Go Celtics and speaking of Phillys. I may have to help myself to some cheese steaks hoagies while I shag some 6er wives. Keep cool-T

????

Teddy,
I know he tore his ACL but the way he looked writhing on the ground, it seemed like Mo got popped by Sirhan Sirhan. Should I feel bad for the Yankees? -Richard, Topsfield

Dick,I have never been a fan of any Yankee, any ex-Yankee, any family member (distant relatives count) or fans of those assholes in Pinstripes.  Did you know they came out with Yankee cologne and perfume this year?  It smells like the Men's room at Old Yankee Stadium on $1.00 beer night during a janitor's strike. 

I must also admit to making fun of Mariano when he electrified his swimming pool and a few family members became Rivera Flambe when they mistakingly jumped into his private, not to be touched by other humans, swimming pool.  I mean, that was a dick move, no? 


Part of me is sad he didn't crack his head open when he fell to the ground.

All that said, Mariano is most definitely the most talented and likable of the lot.  He's a class act and the best relief pitcher of all time (apologies to Mark Clear).

See you Mo. Now I need to get back to retirement, and put my frozen head between this co-ed's cannons.
XXOO 'Sicle