Sorry Kittens, Maybe Next Year

Teddy,
Should we feel bad for Detroit? -Ron, Barrington

Don,
No. And I'll tell you why you should be pissed at Detroit. Because they went so far in the postseason, made A-Rod cry, and had the best manager. Any manager who chain smokes in the dugout, gets the Teddy seal of approval, reminds me of The Mick. Don't get me wrong, Theodore loves the planet, being green... recycling, like my head being used AS A BOUNCY BALL.

But John Farrell is like Tito's alter ego (now with hair!) He didn't do diddly shit in Toronto with a pretty talented team, and let's not forget that Beckett was fat when Farrell was the pitching coach. I guess it would have been nice for the citizens of the US city voted most like Chernobyl. Actually, despite being empty, Chernobyl shows more signs of economic hope. Sorry Kittens, Maybe next year....

-Teddy

Does it Hurt that Much?

Some players are tough as nails. Others cry when their pink nail polish gets chipped. AROD is a part of one of those two groups. He has been known to eat glove, slap balls and cry when things don't go his way. He flexes in front of mirrors, dates women with bigger biceps than his own and spends more money on hair products than most third world nations spend on food. I'm sure it hurts when you break a bone in your hand, but does it hurt as much as AROD leads us to believe? I believe he suffers from hypersensitivity, or as Sully from Staughton calls it "soft wrists." Teddy ALSO- From loyal reader MannysPS2 : Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahhahahaha AROD has NUTS? I think he wouldn't even feel a crotch shot! From loyal reader Chucky, at Norway Novelties: Jesus, I thought somebody had shot him in the nuts he was crying so hard. Typical Yankee pussy One of the interns from the college has a birthday today (23). Good working BB. I am giving you this. Enjoy she has served me well:

AROD?

Nation,
First off, any man who accepts a nickname with "Rod" in it, is probably not a guy I would have hung out with back in the day. I would have been a little worried in the shower, especially if the Irish Spring slipped out of my hands, if you catch my drift. I know he's been linked to all kinds of celebrities, even Madonna, who I was fortunate enough to bang in 1987. I'm willing to bet AROD comes down with some mysterious muscle pull that puts a quick end to his career. Something muscular near the wrists or ankles. All the roiders seem to break down pretty quick when they're off the junk.