Sorry Kittens, Maybe Next Year

Teddy,
Should we feel bad for Detroit? -Ron, Barrington

Don,
No. And I'll tell you why you should be pissed at Detroit. Because they went so far in the postseason, made A-Rod cry, and had the best manager. Any manager who chain smokes in the dugout, gets the Teddy seal of approval, reminds me of The Mick. Don't get me wrong, Theodore loves the planet, being green... recycling, like my head being used AS A BOUNCY BALL.

But John Farrell is like Tito's alter ego (now with hair!) He didn't do diddly shit in Toronto with a pretty talented team, and let's not forget that Beckett was fat when Farrell was the pitching coach. I guess it would have been nice for the citizens of the US city voted most like Chernobyl. Actually, despite being empty, Chernobyl shows more signs of economic hope. Sorry Kittens, Maybe next year....

-Teddy

Does it Hurt that Much?

Some players are tough as nails. Others cry when their pink nail polish gets chipped. AROD is a part of one of those two groups. He has been known to eat glove, slap balls and cry when things don't go his way. He flexes in front of mirrors, dates women with bigger biceps than his own and spends more money on hair products than most third world nations spend on food. I'm sure it hurts when you break a bone in your hand, but does it hurt as much as AROD leads us to believe? I believe he suffers from hypersensitivity, or as Sully from Staughton calls it "soft wrists." Teddy ALSO- From loyal reader MannysPS2 : Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahhahahaha AROD has NUTS? I think he wouldn't even feel a crotch shot! From loyal reader Chucky, at Norway Novelties: Jesus, I thought somebody had shot him in the nuts he was crying so hard. Typical Yankee pussy One of the interns from the college has a birthday today (23). Good working BB. I am giving you this. Enjoy she has served me well:

Things Are Lookin' Up Losers

Ted,
Is it time to give up on the Red Sox? Tim, Cambridge

Tim,
What the hell else do we have? The Pats training camp? Bruins salary cap? Golden Girls marathon? Paul Pierce's tweets? I'm full in on the Sox this year. They've won five of six and gained a game on the Yankees and Rays this weekend. They have a big series in NY next week, where they can pick up more games. This thing ain't over. not by a long shot. With Laser Show Pedroia and Fickle Ribbed D'Ellsbury coming back soon, things are looking up for the Sox. I just hope they have enough time to get it done. If not, I'll turn to the continuing Saga of Brian Scalabrine's search for a job. I hear Dunkin Donuts needs an overnight assistant manager.

You don't have to be a genius to see how good this team can be; it just helps that I am. Keep the faith. -'sicle

Are the Cs going to pull this one out?

Teddy, Are the Cs going to pull this one out?

Course, this is basketball, not my particular area of expertise. Ask me about fishing, flying or hitting a small white ball and I'll have a "for sure" answer for you. But since you asked, yeah, they'll win. I expect them to win the next three in a row, and send the Lakers back to the glorious lakes of LA. You know, I'm from Southern California and it ain't known for their lakes. They probably should have changed their name to something that fits LA a little better...Maybe the "LA Weeping Vaginas" or the "LA Famous Assholes"...Just a suggestion, I'm here to help.

Tedsicle