The NHL might want to look into this new fangled thing called television

Ted, 
As a frozen head, do you have any suggestions as to how the NHL can figure this thing out? Should they? Does anyone even care about hockey? 

Have you ever considered subbing in as a puck? -Murph, Milton

Tom, 
When I was alive (I mean really alive, and not floating in goo) hockey players were tough and played for next to nothing.  Why? Because they loved the game.  

The poor owners are only raking in hundreds of millions off these athletes, and not billions.  It's embarrassing to only have 136 ft yacht and not 157 footer. Also, the NHL might want to look into this new fangled thing called television.  If I have to watch on Versus or the Mountain Channel, I'm probably not finding that on my remote.  I'm disgusted there's no hockey because as a frozen athlete, it's the closest sport to my present state.  I guess I'll have to go back to watching competitive ice fishing.

-Tedsicle

Is that Too Much LeBrons?

Last night I was watching LeBron play basketball and during each commercial break there was a commercial either about:

1) LeBron playing basketball 

2) LeBron talking about how good he is at playing basketball

0r 3) LeBron talking about how other people think about how good he is or isn't at playing basketball

He did all of these things while either using a new cell phone or eating a juicy cheese burger. 

'Sicle, Is that too much LeBron? Should we get used to a one player league? Maybe all the players could change their names to LeBron to make it easier on the announcers and fans. What do you think?

Dear LeJohn,

Look LeBron was not the first athlete to try to do it all.  Bugs Bunny took on the NY Giants in a game of baseball and I believe he opened up a can of whoop-ass on them. While its true the LeBrons beat the Celtics last night, when the LeBron formerly known as Ray Allen gets a full season of cutting on his 73 year old ankles, he won't be hoisting up those three pointers with ease.  Also, the LeBron known as Dwayne Wade was not sharp and I bet he needs knee surgery before the end of the year.  Lastly the LeBron known as Tyranasaurus Bosh has a tendency to become extinct in the Playoffs.

Hugs from the Tin Can, XXOO -T

I Have GOT to get out of this Tin Can

I'll have the fish please.

Does it Hurt that Much?

Some players are tough as nails. Others cry when their pink nail polish gets chipped. AROD is a part of one of those two groups. He has been known to eat glove, slap balls and cry when things don't go his way. He flexes in front of mirrors, dates women with bigger biceps than his own and spends more money on hair products than most third world nations spend on food. I'm sure it hurts when you break a bone in your hand, but does it hurt as much as AROD leads us to believe? I believe he suffers from hypersensitivity, or as Sully from Staughton calls it "soft wrists." Teddy ALSO- From loyal reader MannysPS2 : Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahhahahaha AROD has NUTS? I think he wouldn't even feel a crotch shot! From loyal reader Chucky, at Norway Novelties: Jesus, I thought somebody had shot him in the nuts he was crying so hard. Typical Yankee pussy One of the interns from the college has a birthday today (23). Good working BB. I am giving you this. Enjoy she has served me well:

The World Cup and the Asshole

I bet you think I'm going to rail on how stupid soccer is. Boring, not enough scoring, too many Europeans and other various wimpy skinny foreigners. That's where you are wrong (except for the too many Euros part). I grew up in a "soccer hotbed" in Southern California and played some as a kid. I didn't have the stamina to run for 90 minutes, those guys are freaks. But, I respect, even enjoy watching when they set my head up to watch tv (don't ask, it's in the will). Anyway, I was watching the US game last week, the come from behind tie that should have been a win and decided we should invade Mali and kill the referee's family. That would send a clear message to other referees that random anti-american sentiment will not be tolerated. It was a blatantly bad call, with no explanation of what the call was. It would be like if Pedroia was standing on second after a double, and right before the pitcher was to throw the next pitch the umpire would call him out. No rhyme or reason. In fact, what the Slovenian defenders were doing was enough to get a sodomy conviction in Georgia. But then again, typing the word sodomy gets a you a sodomy conviction in Georgia.
After that disgraceful call and theft of a win I wanted to jump up and put my fist through the TV, instead, I spit at it in anger.

The Red Sox - Tedsicle told you they would come out of it. Too much pitching to fail the way they were early in the year.
The Celtics - more spit in anger on the tv - but don't blame Ray Allen. I'm sick of hearing how bad he was. You try to follow Kobe all over the court and then see how good your jump shot is in the 4th quarter when your legs are throbbing. You assholes wouldn't make a free throw. Also, that Vujacic who did nothing all series - what is with the eyebrow spit/smoothing thing you do? It should be banned from the game, plus he's a cheating sodomite from Slovenia. I bet he's got some Mali ancestors too. Asshole.

Ted